Home > mood, type 1 diabetes > I miss my beta cells

I miss my beta cells

You’d think after 26 years of type 1 diabetes, they’d be all forgotten by now. It’s not like I even knew them really. We never had conversations. But I still miss them.

Now according to a recent study done up in Canada, it seems that GABA has been able to cure type 1 diabetes in mice. Stopped the loss of beta cells and then allowed their pancreases to regrow beta cells. Well, that’s kinda nice. Of course, just because it worked in mice doesn’t mean it would work in human beings, but the pathways ought to have some similarities.

GABA is also reputed to be helpful in helping people relax. One might also note that type 1 diabetics, deprived of their beta cells, don’t make very much GABA. Which makes me wonder if that’s been a cause over the years for me tending to always feel stressed, tightly wound up.

So I ordered some GABA and it arrived last week. I also hoped that it might calm down the dreams I have at night. The first night after taking some GABA my dreams seemed to scale down in intensity, but the last few nights I’ve been back to the pattern of the last year. Intense dreams, sometimes scary, sometimes deeply sad. Last night was no exception and I woke up at 3. It took a while to fall back asleep, and when I did, it was into a dream about me down at BWI airport, but it was empty and haunted with faint voices only.

I’m tired of me. I’m tired of my dreams.

This world is a faded place.

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