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smuggler

I had bad dreams Friday night. And last night, it wasn’t so much a bad dream but odd and I was dissociated at times in it, where I was another person in the dream and would see myself doing something. From what I remember, it started off that I was working in a convenience store and was slicing meat for hoagies. Then some other guy was slicing a roast beef but the meat slices would be turkey.

But that wasn’t our real job. Our real job was smuggling people out of Iraq. I have no idea why I would be dreaming about that, nor dreaming that that out the plate glass window of the convenience store it was Iraq. And we had to smuggle people out of there while slicing meat for sandwiches.

I woke up around 4 out of that and was completely thinking, “what the fuck?” Managed to get back to sleep though and was jolted awake by the alarm at 6.

—-

Earlier in the year, around mid-April, I had a bit of surprise one morning when I looked out to see what was at the bird feeder, and I saw 3 rather large birds walking around underneath the feeder and its tree, looking for seeds. These large birds were turkeys, 2 hens and 1 tom.

The last I saw of the hens was towards the end of May. But the tom continued to hang around, often showing up in the mornings or late afternoons, looking for sunflower seeds which were his favorite. Then about 2.5 weeks ago, he stopped showing up and I figured he had moved on to elsewhere or had met his demise somehow.

Then he showed up again last Thursday.

—-

The GABA experiment continues. Still taking 6.0g a day. My basal dose has gone back up to 22u though. And sometimes, for reasons I don’t understand, it appears that my liver will sometimes dump a huge amount of glucose into me. It happened to me last night. I had had some peas for carbs with dinner, not much, but 2 hours after dinner, my blood sugar was 300 mg/dL. Ugh. And there has been other instances of this, where I will get an unexpected high reading, in the upper 200s. The occurrence of that makes me think that if eventually I am satisfied nothing is changing, that the autoimmune attack is still wiping out the beta cells my body tried to regrow, then I’ll stop taking GABA. At least in this high of dose. Maybe I’ll supplement some still because type 1 diabetics may be generally deficient in GABA.

I also don’t think it’s done much to relieve my sense of anxiety or tendency to worry. I don’t know if that’s because GABA doesn’t cross the blood-brain barrier well or if I’m just always an anxious worrying sort of person. I don’t know. I had rather hoped that the GABA might help with that, I really had. I might be a bit happier if it was able to help me.

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