Home > mood, Uncategorized > a leap day post

a leap day post

Not that I have much of anything to say. Is it emptiness that I cannot really write anything beyond babble or is it something else? I don’t know, je ne sais pas, no se, mi ne scias.

The other night I dreamed that the turkey’s beak broke off. Or part of it. It made me very upset and I tried to comfort him and tell him that I would take him to the New Bolton Center and they could give him an artificial beak.  Strange.

On some other night, I dreamed that someone was trying to stick a burning cigarette into my right eye.

Yesterday, I found out about the islands of Saint-Pierre et Miquelon, which are actually French territory and sit to the south of Newfoundland. I then ended up learning about a movie, La Veuve de Saint-Pierre, or The Widow of St. Pierre, a movie about a man executed with a guillotine. In French, la veuve is a slang term for guillotine. It makes me think there could be a good poem written and titled La Veuve, but I have no idea what the content could be, what sort of images there would be, because it’s like I’m empty of content and images. When did that happen? I don’t know. I think the last real good poem I wrote was back in 2009, in the early spring. After that, there were some ideas which almost took good shape, but were lacking some. Then things kept diminishing and disappearing, dwindling, until now where there is only emptiness and nothingness.

Perhaps that’s okay. I’ve slowly grown accustomed again to the conversation in my head and am no longer so troubled by the concept that it’s a conversation with myself only. Not everyone in this world is good at being sociable, and that’s long been me.

It’s raining today, dark and gray. But there’s a lot more light again around here than a couple of months ago. I don’t feel quite so suffocated by the darkness of winter anymore. It’s a relief that when I get home after work, there is still some light left. And now there’s the very first glimmers of light when I rouse up from the bed a little after 6 in the morning.

So that’s where it is for this, February 29, 2012. There’s a pretty good link about La Veuve de Saint-Pierre on the French Wikipedia. There’s a good story in there, both the historical and the movie account. I’ve never been a good storyteller, but there’s always some element or bit of story in a poem. But I don’t have stories anymore, or the stories I know have so thoroughly dismayed me I can’t bear to tell them.

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