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keep a rep in the pocket

Perhaps getting back to lifting weights and regaining strength will help to stabilize my mood, which is necessary this time of year. Of course one thing I’ve thought about during the time that my physical activity level became rather low with the exception of golfing on the weekends and walking 18 holes, it’s that when my shoulder started getting dramatically better, that I would want to be cautious with how I resumed any sort of training.

If you lurk around enough sort of internet forums with people who are working out, you will all too often see stories about someone who had once had a decent level of fitness, got away from that, then came back and overloaded themselves. One factor may be they were once motivated enough to get fairly fit and strong, then the motivation comes back and they want to go as hard as they were back then. Plus there are the memories of what they were capable of. Even though they are now detrained, they want to be at that prior level. So they’ll push for that, even though they may simply be incapable of it, or in danger of where they can injure themselves in the process.

So I’ve been mindful of that as I’ve begun to resume some training. One very conscious thing I am doing deals with the final set of reps in the adapted 5-3-1 protocol I’m using. In 5-3-1, the last set is the max set, you lift the greatest amount of weight, and you also try to do as many reps as you can do. Or, in my case, I do about as many reps up to the point of where I feel I have at least one more left if I were to try. Maybe even 2 reps. The point is that I’m staying away from a failed rep, a rep that in my current state could be a dangerous rep.

I suspect this also gets more important the older one is. You get older, you don’t heal and recover as fast. I’ve maybe seen that some with how much more stubborn this frozen left shoulder has been about thawing. There’s just no fucking sense right now in starting some lifting and getting myself hurt with it. So be safe, I keep thinking, be safe.

Or when I go and look at Ross Enamait’s page about the Magic 50, I just smile and think, “Not now, not yet.” Beyond the fact I still can’t do snatch with my left-hand, even if I could do that, I wouldn’t do a full Magic 50. I would probably scale it down to a Magic 20. Just 2 rounds of the swings, snatches and burpees.

Oh, I did some burpees on Tuesday as part of my warmup before squatting. 5 of them. Then during my cooldown I did 5 more. 10 burpees. Which was 10 more in a day than I had done in a long time. Maybe tonight I will do a total of 12. I do that and next time, I will be a bit stronger, a bit faster, a bit more explosive. Build by bits, that’s the idea. One small step after another.

Maybe sometime next year I will be ready for some sterner stuff, to reach into the pocket and turn it inside-out. But for now, it’s keep a rep or 2 in there.

—-

I didn’t bowl all that well last night. Never got settled, got a little frustrated with how the bowlers on the other team weren’t very prompt about getting on the lanes and bowling their frames. I dislike slow play, in golf and bowling. I like things to keep moving.

Then later that night, when I was driving home, I came very close to hitting a deer that darted across the road in front of me. Fortunately, I was going slow anyhow on a backroad, about 30 mph, and saw it soon enough that I was able to brake short of it and it continued on its way, and I continued mine.

But all of that kind of rattled me some and I didn’t go to sleep easy later on. Then I woke up at 4 AM and couldn’t go back to sleep. I felt frustration about this time of year, the huge amounts of darkness and the dreadful cacophony of advertisements bleating on about how happy you should be, it’s that time of year to be happy. Bullshit. I’m not happy. I’m doing my best to continue on, I go to my job, I do my work, I go golfing and bowling, I’m working on getting strong again. I watch a movie now and then and think about it. I read some, in English, in French, in Esperanto. My life is not empty. But it is not happy.

The only conversation I have is the one inside my head. And it’s a pale shadow to what a conversation could be. But while I may long for conversation again, that doesn’t mean I long for what’s involved in developing conversation with another person or other people. I just feel so lost with it. In some ways, I feel like talking with other people is about as useful as talking to dolphins for me. Something in my brain didn’t get formed properly when I was growing up. If I step into the social world, I’m lost. If I stand outside of it, I just get to see others from the outside of it.

Daylight stops receding in about 22 or 23 days or so. Just get me to March. If I can get there, things are better just for that. More light, more warmth again. Winter is a hell of a season, a hell of darkness.

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